George wants to be my sugar daddy
And I’m shocked. Outraged. Intrigued.
Words by Raquel Fernández Sobrín
It was a regular morning. The forecast was condemning us once again to a rainy day although there was no drop on sight and the chirping of birds mingled with the sound of cars. I was on my second tea and half of the dose of bad news I allow myself every day when I took the step that would change everything: I checked my direct message request folder on Instagram to discover the existence of a man called George. A gentleman who, according to his bio, works in real estate and is one of those cryptocurrency speculators. A gentleman who offers me to fill a vacancy for which, to my knowledge, I have not applied: to become his sugar baby.
I am shocked. Outraged. Intrigued. The concept is not new to me and I know that as outdated as it may seem (like another early 2000s fad making a comeback), it is a reality we live with. I know this because during my first days on TikTok, those that the algorithm needs to identify your philias and phobias, more than one man showed his house and car as proof that they could be perfect sugar daddies and more than one woman showed her body and smile while claiming that they wanted to become sugar babies on the grounds that they have expensive tastes. Of course, in your first days on TikTok you see a lot of things. Almost all of them you consider anomalous. Until you bump into one of them in your inbox.
To put your doubts to rest, the Internet. I decided to search the “official” meaning of sugar daddy in Urban Dictionary because neither the RAE nor the Pompeu Fabra dictionaries can be trusted for such important matters. “A boyfriend that comes with financial benefits”. Is this really happening? According to Google News, it certainly is. “The crisis is pushing more women to become sugar babies to make ends meet”. So in 2021, sugar baby doesn’t just apply only to that young woman who wants to pay college loans and the occasional handbag, but women in their 20s and 40s in the need for money to pay rent. Although Urban Dictionary makes no reference to sex, it is taken for granted that when men pay for companion, they pay for all the companionship they can get. As if by not calling a spade a spade we weren’t in front of the same scenario: a man giving money to a woman in exchange of consent.
Still in my stupor, I did what women have done since the beginning of time. I wondered what George had seen in my profile that could encourage him to make such a proposal. Before solving my own doubt, I realized that I was doing precisely what women have done since the beginning of time, asking myself what part of my behaviour justified a man invading my space without considering the possibility that he might make me feel uncomfortable. Molest me. Disgust me. So I decided that if he had the audacity to send me that message, I would have the audacity to reply it with this link. Greetings George. I hope your day isn’t an ordinary one either.